There's an awkwardness thing, I'm an awkward kind of guy. Sometimes insecure, but I think awkward is a better description.
Here, I'm not sure if this picture is visible or if you have to sign up to something to see it. Its me looking scared / awkward at the internety meetup a few months back.
Its kind of crippling sometimes. I need to email people, but I don't know what to say. I need to talk to people in real life, even friends, but I don't know what to say, or more specifically, I don't know how to say "Yeah, we've met before, we've corresponded online, a few weeks back, about that thing and stuff". The awkwardness, oh the crushing awkwardness.
At some point real soon I have to head down the road to the JobCentre and sign up for signing on. Something's holding me back. I need to think it through. I have washing in the machine downstairs which I need to take out before flatmates get home. I need to figure out what documents I need to take with me to the JobCentre, national insurance card? Utility bills or bank statements, passport or other ID, copy of my contract for the flat to prove I live in this area.
Hmph, I feel pretty pathetic.
Slightly more so in that after thirty years on this earth, according to Facebook I can just about muster six people to come for a drink, including relatives and chums from uni whom I haven't spoken to for the best part of six months.
What went wrong?