Crippling despair and despression (the emotion, not the serious mental disorder) at HDIF last night. It was crap, and lonely.
Well, I was there with Holly and Adam Plimp turned up later, but it was embarrasing, I'd been talking it up to him for ages, and it was pants.
My head hurt, a headache? a migrane? who knows.
We left around 1am, heading seperate ways, pissed off and a lonely. Our lives several hours shorter than before we'd gone.
Whatever I'm searching for wasn't there.
There was a birthday thread for me on Bowlie, well, Dirty Vicar hunting for a KLF thread and finding me and the passage of time the closest thing. Oh god, I'm going to be thirty soon. All I have to show for it is bitterness and crushing loneliness.
Oh and the long snail trail of sites on t'internet and successful career in British hi-fi manufacturing. But alas, no girl, no soulmate, no family house kids and confidence.
Damn you,
Damn you all.
I need a hug with potential.
Hey Chris, don't worry. You can always find solace in cake. I am on a fucking downer big time today as well. I think I might give up drinking.... at some point in my life, maybe the end of my life. XXX
ReplyDeleteJesus Chris, you're not even thirty yet. When you get to my age you can start feeling sadface about being life passing you by. The girl will arrive in her own good time.
ReplyDeletebut you don't have the cash in your hand do you? unless you queue and wait your turn. You can't just magic it there. Things take time.
ReplyDeleteYeah Chris actually you're right- you ought to end it all. Defo for the best. xx
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