Raising a heavy head

A few days ago, after a moan from the missus, I resolved to write some kind of feminist blog-post, or pimp some feminism story on Facebook, just anything to get me feminist brownie points. I was briefly going to write about fat, cos its a feminist issue, but then couldn't be bothered.

Until today, when I see from all over the internet that Size 16 Chloe Marshall has made it through to the Miss England Finals.

Sadly this is old news, everyone's linking to a BBC Newsbeat report from 2008, so its rising up the Most Popular Stories ranking.

As the internet goes crazy at the thought of a curvy bint in a bikini, greasy fingers double-clicking, flecks of spittle slowly oozing down chins, the BBC story becomes ever popular. But it was a long time ago. It was 2008. She didn't win, she came second, and then got signed up to a modelling agency specialising in curvy chicks, or 'BBW' as the fetish sites would call people of her size.

The BBC really ought to do something about this, like putting the date of articles in the most popular list, or some kind of timecap, anything to stop the past trending like this.

Chloe's got her own website and everything now, and its all professional like, with photies of Chloe with plenty of slap on. Alas the blog's not been updated since October and she only posted four times last year.

If you want to see her in person, she's judging the finals of Miss Natural Curves 2010 at the Civic Hall in Bedworth on Saturday 24th April 2010.

**UPDATE**
Oh Jesus Christ! Even topical news website The Daily Mash is punting this a new story in their piece MEN PUZZLED BY DEBATE OVER BOUNCY GIRLS

As the first size 16 contestant prepares for the Miss England beauty pageant, women said it was an important breakthrough while men said they could not imagine the circumstances in which this lovely big girl would be deemed unattractive.

Helen Archer, an official woman, said: "This is the culmination of years of determined struggle against a male dominated culture that enslaves women and demands they conform to a perfect ideal of sexual attractiveness."

But Nathan Muir, a completely normal person in every way from Hatfield, stressed: "What the hell are you talking about?

It was two years ago, get over it.

406

Spent some time on the Northern Circular Road this morning, it makes me think of ex-girlfriends more than usual. Sad thoughts.

Why am I here now, and not with them? What went wrong? What did I do wrong? and how come other people do the same and it's right for them?

How come I can barely muster relationships lasting as long as four weeks now?

Starting to have teh fear for my birthday in December. How can I evade depression (the natural human emotion, not the serious mental illness which I would never consider making light of in a flippant blog post)? Resign myself drinking wine alone in my room with a packet of chocolate digestives, or make an efford to dig up and re-engage old friends to drink with (seems a bit mercenary to me). Not a chance in hell of having a party at the flat.

Last year was a bit of luck with mental judo and getting to Glasgow, but its too far away now, the light fading.

Thirty years for this?

Back to work ii

Have taken to soothing my singularity by prodding people at work with a stick, need to get out and go to lots of gigs and maybe have a small drink.

Things kind of falling apart, just like they used too, maybe more ill theatre drawings are needed.

Having bad bad thoughts about the Bill Drummond The17 book signing/talk/reading thing, should I invite along the girl I should have invited back in '95? Its crazy, but thats the way I roll.

If ever there's a time to get delerious and replay darks time in my head, its now. Will have to dig out the old books and diaries.

Speaking of which, in response to hearing that the notorious Bowlie spider-diagram doing the rounds is incorrect, ill-informed and not up to date, I sketched out on to the best of my knowledge.

And after slinging it online for a few hours, the little voice inside my head reminded me it was a bad idea. And whilst that voice is the voice of insanity that regularly costs me dear, it has made me the man I am today. Angry, frustrated and bitter.

Cheers for that.

Also diagrams didn't quite get the thousands of pageviews I was hoping for, barely broke double figures. You gotta ask yersel, "Is it worth it?"

This evening, do I just go straight to the gig that's probly sold out or do I try to run 10K again and get the old endorphins flowing?

Chocolate

Given the choise, I think chocolatey goodness wins out every time

Sorry chaps, but the pull was too strong

See the whole photie-set here