Raising a heavy head

A few days ago, after a moan from the missus, I resolved to write some kind of feminist blog-post, or pimp some feminism story on Facebook, just anything to get me feminist brownie points. I was briefly going to write about fat, cos its a feminist issue, but then couldn't be bothered.

Until today, when I see from all over the internet that Size 16 Chloe Marshall has made it through to the Miss England Finals.

Sadly this is old news, everyone's linking to a BBC Newsbeat report from 2008, so its rising up the Most Popular Stories ranking.

As the internet goes crazy at the thought of a curvy bint in a bikini, greasy fingers double-clicking, flecks of spittle slowly oozing down chins, the BBC story becomes ever popular. But it was a long time ago. It was 2008. She didn't win, she came second, and then got signed up to a modelling agency specialising in curvy chicks, or 'BBW' as the fetish sites would call people of her size.

The BBC really ought to do something about this, like putting the date of articles in the most popular list, or some kind of timecap, anything to stop the past trending like this.

Chloe's got her own website and everything now, and its all professional like, with photies of Chloe with plenty of slap on. Alas the blog's not been updated since October and she only posted four times last year.

If you want to see her in person, she's judging the finals of Miss Natural Curves 2010 at the Civic Hall in Bedworth on Saturday 24th April 2010.

**UPDATE**
Oh Jesus Christ! Even topical news website The Daily Mash is punting this a new story in their piece MEN PUZZLED BY DEBATE OVER BOUNCY GIRLS

As the first size 16 contestant prepares for the Miss England beauty pageant, women said it was an important breakthrough while men said they could not imagine the circumstances in which this lovely big girl would be deemed unattractive.

Helen Archer, an official woman, said: "This is the culmination of years of determined struggle against a male dominated culture that enslaves women and demands they conform to a perfect ideal of sexual attractiveness."

But Nathan Muir, a completely normal person in every way from Hatfield, stressed: "What the hell are you talking about?

It was two years ago, get over it.

Run run run

Did the old 10K in 43 minutes, the old 10K being the same distance I ran the other week, regardly of what my Nike+ widget says it is.

I'm getting better man.

However, on getting home I had to play Monopoly. Its still as bad as I remember.

Back to work ii

Have taken to soothing my singularity by prodding people at work with a stick, need to get out and go to lots of gigs and maybe have a small drink.

Things kind of falling apart, just like they used too, maybe more ill theatre drawings are needed.

Having bad bad thoughts about the Bill Drummond The17 book signing/talk/reading thing, should I invite along the girl I should have invited back in '95? Its crazy, but thats the way I roll.

If ever there's a time to get delerious and replay darks time in my head, its now. Will have to dig out the old books and diaries.

Speaking of which, in response to hearing that the notorious Bowlie spider-diagram doing the rounds is incorrect, ill-informed and not up to date, I sketched out on to the best of my knowledge.

And after slinging it online for a few hours, the little voice inside my head reminded me it was a bad idea. And whilst that voice is the voice of insanity that regularly costs me dear, it has made me the man I am today. Angry, frustrated and bitter.

Cheers for that.

Also diagrams didn't quite get the thousands of pageviews I was hoping for, barely broke double figures. You gotta ask yersel, "Is it worth it?"

This evening, do I just go straight to the gig that's probly sold out or do I try to run 10K again and get the old endorphins flowing?

Tenk

Tried to run 10K for the first time. I've done 7km and once 8km before, but I ws inspired to try the whole thing, two laps of Regent's Park.



Did it in 38 mins 20 seconds according to my Nike+ widget, but I'm a little sceptical, by the map it was only 9km. And god knows whats's with the line going down at the end there, I could have sworn I finished at a sprint.

Will have to recalibrate and try again, once my feet have grown back.

It ain't pretty what drives me, but it works.

Ooh, I found this wonderful site which has all the consecutive world records for the 10K. By the looks of things I'm only 6 minutes off the world record in 1847. I reckon I could easily whip William Jackson's ass, if only he hadn't been dead for a hundred and fifty years.

Run

Went jogging last night, did 5km in 24 minutes, about 11 minutes than my flatmate's average.

But it lead to half a discussion. First the statement "5km, that's more of a women's distance", nah, men and women both compete in it.

Secondly, the statement "Well, men and women don't compete against each other", well, not officially, but I'm sure they do all the time.

Thirdly, the statement "It would hardly be fair if men competed against women in that one", yeah, it would be pretty unfair for me to run against Paula Radcliffe, she would so whoop my ass.

Thrilling stuff, I'm sure you'd agree. This is why I try not to chat to my flatmate unless it can't be avoided.

Jo

Went for my longest ever jog last night, well, not longest ever, longest this season.

6.63Km according to my Nike+ipod thing, average pace of around 6min/km. Not quite sure how accurate it is. Still rocking round Regents Park. Flatmate was out there somewhere too, but I never saw her. I think, as a bonus, my knee's not hurting like it was doing the other week.

It would be cool to have a jogging buddy, someone about the same fitness level, to even out my pace a little, and go to the pub with afterwards. But all the offers I've put out online have been ignored or shrugged.

Fuckit, I'll just stick to my ipod.