I was convinced I'd been sold a pudding by Tesco in this apple tree named Huey Lewis, but it looks like I've been proved wrong.
For weeks he looked just like a dead stick planted in the ground, showing no signs of life whatsoever, except for a few spiders who'd taken up home in his branches. But I was having a potter round the garden after work, when I thought I saw something on Huey.
My eyes did no deceive me, Huey Lewis is starting to bud!
Little green buggers, and not just one or two, but loads of them all over his branches. Even coming out of the bits I thought were broken, dangling limbs. There's life in old Huey yet.
He's veritably bristling with life, like the wee embryonic leafy dudes can't wait to get out there and start photosynthesizing. I might be optimistic expecting fruit this year, but at least he's no dead and I'm so excited to see his buds.
Anyhoo, so there I was, buzzing round the garden, trying to remember the words to Huey's namesake's Power of Love, and doing a spot of weeding, when I saw this little guy.
He's called Ian, he's a potato plant. I'd forgotten I'd planted potatoes. It must have been a few months ago, there were some dodgy ones at the back of the fridge, you know the potatoes with tentacles that make Jaclyn scream. I thought, rather than chuck them, I'd stick them in the ground and hope for the best.
See, cos the soil is so poor, I didn't think they'd do anything, but no, this little chap is just creeping above ground.
Admittedly at first I thought he was a weed, so I have him a light tug, usually cos weeds are peely wally chaps they just come out, but Ian, he's got a lot going on underground, so I'm going to leave him be.